Naruto

2011-10-09T23:18:00.002+08:00

It has been years since i come back here to post.. Years since i start to emo again... Actually, i really dun expect myself to get emo at this age...

I really suspect i got depression... Keep thinking negative stuffs... Haiz...

Ever since she start to keep mention a guy name... i already start to think "this is bad.. she might run away with him.. Same old story like last time.." But when i see her... i will think this "No worry.. she is not like that... she only treat him as brother.. trust her.." As times go by, she mention his name more and more, like i m totally replace by him... but i still keep quiet and keep telling myself "trust her... she only treat him as brother.." Then, till one day... she got sad because he got some problem... As usual... i always support her to care for the needy one even though i want her attention alot more... But when she say sth like she going to leave me... i exploded... no longer can contain all my emotion... told her everything in that is in my heart.. at de same time... my mind is blank, i just cannot carry on working at all... emo.. is not a gd thing for me to have it back.. but it just been triggered... even though things are looking fine... but for me... things dun feel de same at all.. The secure feeling is missing... and i just feel the space between us is getting bigger and bigger... I no longer know who m i and what should i do... Just when i feel better... Suddenly she say this "If she is a he, I will already choose her liao.." den i reply "den u will not know me liao.." den she replied," i will still know u ar.. as a friend.." This word just shattered my injured heart.. i really dunno what i really should do anymore... i m really confused.. i m lost in this dark space... I really feel... I m just nothing.. Nothing special... Nothing to show people.. Just good for nothing...

I m not rich like her... Cannot buy anything that you like...

I m not clever like him... Can think of ideas to make things romantic..

I m not handsome... just like those idols in drama..

My brain is just too simple.. Whenever i try planned surprise, u will know it...

Whatever i only left with... is just a fragile heart that truly love you..

Haiz... Disappointed with myself... Disappointed with all the things i have done... How should i find back my confidence that i have once lost? Can anyone advise me? I m really really depress... I dun wanna compare myself to other people.. but i really cannot help it... I really need to refresh my mind.. May the god bless me once more...

2009-10-03T00:57:00.001+08:00

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

You are feeling very vulnerable at this time. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction - business wise, private-life wise, everything. You need some emotional security and an environment which could possibly provide fewer problems, but the way you are feeling you can't be bothered even to make the effort.

You have a high opinion of yourself. It is perhaps because of this self-centredness that you become exasperated when you feel that your needs are misinterpreted by those around you. When this happens - and it does quite often - you feel that there is no-one that can understand the way you feel and it is because of this egocentric self that you are quick to take offence.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

2009-09-26T10:12:00.002+08:00

haha... so bored... gonna revive my blog liao... well... thx to everyone that send me their regards and concern about me... i really appreciate... will get well soon... haha...

it was quite a scary experience... i admit... haha... tryin to joke around to get my fear away... but lucky i m still alive and well... not too much serious injury...

now very sian... most likely will drop pes and gonna be clerk... well... no choice... drop den i have to accept... haha... now all i can see is Gek Ling to become my mdm liao... damn... haha...

well... another 1 more week ba... my stitches will be removed and my bike will be repaired... Yay baby... Now all i need to do is make myself recover fast! Muahahha!!!

2009-01-01T00:32:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year!!! bye bye to 2008!!! 2009 arrived!!! haha...

so many thing happen in 2008... now.. looking forwards to 2009... think might look better for me ba...

Just wish to appear more in your phone... =)

2008-08-10T10:41:00.002+08:00

ya... bored now... just update some pic that taken in sch... haha...

2008-06-16T00:29:00.002+08:00

oh... my gd buddy... IZ... is going to his camp tdy... thats so cool sial... haiz... and me still being left behind and one more sem to go... so bored that i decide to do another round of car review on the car that i drive the past 2mth...

Hyundai Trajet

Well... this car basically is very very heavy... this can really be feel when accelerating... The CVVT engine is the same 2liter as the hyundai sonata... however, i can feel more power on accelerating on sonata rather than this car... this is due to the different weight... fuel consumption is quite bad on this car... hit around 7-8km/L. But the gd thing is that this car is very spacious. the last row of the seats still hav quite large leg room. the car is also quite stable at high speed (ard 120km/h) without the feel of getting uplift. and the price tag on this car is cheaper than other japanese MPV. Basically is quite a economic car for big family which often has family outing.

Fiat Panda

This is exactly the same color as what i have rent. the car is really small when u look at it. but actually not as small as u expected. the passenger seat may look small but it dun feel squeezy at all. The bad is really small... only can fit 2 adult. but i got 3 of my friends seat at the back seat and they dun find it too squeezy also... The car is equip with 1.2L engine. the engine is not really that powerful so it take quite some time to climb uphill. but is also not that powerless as i try to make burnout on a carpark slope. the car really give very gd fuel consumption. i hit 13km/L even thought i did a lot of unnecessary acceleration (due to the brake and accelerator pedal which is so close, i brake and accelerate together most of the time) and also revving. Bit the car is comfortable for driving but not long distance as is a little bored in the car... too simple... not much of gadget to play with. The car also has a small problem. it has a very small fuel tank (estimate 30L). But then.. overall... It is a very gd small car... No wonder James May (Top Gear Presenter) like it. recommand anyone rich to buy it as the price is $65k++.. I think is the highest price among car with the same engine size...

2008-06-01T22:52:00.002+08:00

so bored of memorizing meaningless stuff... found sth while doing my surfing cum study for exam... haha...

Five surprising reasons men are happy in a relationship
by Bonnie Yuill

Don't be fooled by the male ego. Men look for more in a relationship than an attractive women who will cook him a good meal and wash his clothes every once in a while. What he really needs is your admiration.

He needs to communicate with you
A lot of men need to be in a relationship more than women do. Surprising? Not really, when you think about it. Women usually have close relationships with their friends. They talk about health problems until they feel better. But men don't. As Helen Fielding's character, Bridget Jones, says, 'Women have emotions and men have football.' Men are competitive and so, in general, they rarely share their emotions or problems with each other, as they think it makes them look too weak. When he needs to open up and talk about his feelings, guess who he eventually shows his vulnerable side to? You!

He wants to be your hero
Knowing that he can make someone else happy makes him feel good inside, because he has the power to change things. And what bloke doesn't secretly want power of some sort? At least if he can't always be top dog at work, he can be a star at home. Instinctively, he aspires to be Spider-Man or Superman � to be your hero, to be able to make things right: to be appreciated, to be someone's knight in shining armour. So when you are disappointed or unhappy, he feels responsible. What matters is that you are happy and then he's got one less thing to worry about. Strange but true.

He strives to make you happy
The number one reason men leave relationships is because they feel as though they can't meet their partner's needs. This makes them feel inadequate, and it makes them feel as though there's no way their partner can feel respect for them. For women, communication seems to be the top priority in keeping the relationship going � but, quite honestly, men don't understand this constant need to talk about things over and over.

For men, the relationship is a success if they feel respected and if they make their partner happy. This is why a new conquest is exactly that � he feels as though he is in charge � he is once again someone's knight in shining armour.

If you resent him because you feel overworked and under-appreciated, stop doing so much � you are probably destroying your relationship! He doesn't want to feel responsible for you rushing around, worn into the carpet, and most men really don't notice whether the housework has been done or not. What they want is respect and appreciation. 'All we really want from women,' a (male) friend recently told me, 'is for you to smile at us.' (And probably one other thing, if he thought about it for longer than a millisecond.)

S*x makes him feel loved
*** has the same effect on men as romance does on women. So the reverse is also true: no *** = no love, no approval, no acknowledgement. They get that same sad, unloved feeling that you get when you don't get flowers, your partner looks at other women or ignores you.

You are his (secret) reason for living
He needs you because you inspire him to do better � he has someone to do things for, goals to reach, a reason to go out and conquer the world. What's the point of being disgustingly rich and powerful if there's no one to share it with? What he needs is the gift of you.

10 devious ways to win an argument

1. Cry
This works every time if it is not overused. Remember though, don't be too dramatic - there's no need to tear your hair, howl in anguish or throw yourself on the ground and cover yourself in ashes. On the other hand, a few meaningful tears will often soften him up enough to help him see your side of things

2. Keep on talking
Bore him into submission! This is particularly useful when justifying expensive purchases he doesn't approve of: 'I could have chosen the cheaper butcher's block (with no extra drawers or wine rack), but the deluxe version had hanging hooks, wine rack and removable dishwasher-proof chopping board. And although the super-deluxe (with fixable castors, a towel rail and two extra drawers) was very nice, I thought the deluxe, which came ready-assembled...'

3. Seduce him
Let's not discuss the mortgage/new car/where we're spending Christmas right now - I'm so horny! You'll find he's far more agreeable after a good session. God, us girls can be wicked sometimes!

4. Get his mum on your side
If he finds out that his mum agrees with you that nipple piercings on men are the best invention since sliced bread, you're far more likely to have him heading down to the piercing parlour. This can work with best friends, too, who also have a big influence over blokes, but Mummy is all-powerful and far more scary to defy!

5. Shout
For preference, do this in public. Blokes hate a scene and will often back down rather than fight it out - especially in front of friends or at expensive restaurants. But you don't want him going home and changing his mind, do you? So don't stop shouting until he gives in and surrenders utterly, categorically and pathetically to your wishes. There, that's a good boy!

6. Flatter his ego
'You're so GOOD at putting at the rubbish out/booking holidays/choosing presents for me...' Get the idea?

7. Beg
Say, 'Pleeeeease!' Be unashamedly abject. Stoop as low as you can, and then stoop lower! If something appears to mean so much to you, most men won't argue about it

8. Blame your period
You don't want him thinking you're completely useless for a week out of every month, but there are times when your period and PMT are great for getting you off the hook. Car accidents and forgetting to pass on messages are easily forgiven if committed at a certain time of the month. 'I'm sorry I slept with your best friend, but my period's about to start,' obviously won't go down so well

9. 'I did it for you!'
Claim that whatever you did wrong was done for the sole purpose of pleasing him. How were you to know he'd hate having a pink front door/a male stripagram (ooops!)/tickets to see Tom Jones?

10. Dig in those gorgeous high heels
As a last resort, try simply refusing to give any ground until you get your way. Most blokes find a forceful woman who really knows what she wants strangely attractive, and will often sit back and wonder rather than taking up the challenge against her. Very wise!

RELATIONSHIP RULES
Provided byPsychology Today

Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so.

It's clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. So I'm using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem.

From many sources and many experts, I have culled some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it's a start. Print them out and pin them up on your refrigerator door.

Choose a partner wisely and well. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. They remind us of someone from our past. They shower us with gifts and make us feel important. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, values, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others.

Know your partner's beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. You don't want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they'll create it where it doesn't exist.

Don't confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love.

Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader.

View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That, according to relationship expert Diane Sollee, M.S.W., director of SmartMarriages, an international effort to teach relationship skills to couples, is the value of a team-your differences.

Know how to respect and manage differences; it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them.

If you don't understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk and explore, don't assume.

Solve problems as they arise. Don't let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defenses against one another and to become strangers. Or enemies.

Learn to negotiate. Modern relationships no longer rely on roles cast by the culture. Couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. It works best when good will prevails. Because people's needs are fluid and change over time, and life's demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time.

Listen, truly listen, to your partner's concerns and complaints without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need. It opens the door to confiding. And empathy is crucial. Look at things from your partner's perspective as well as your own.

Work hard at maintaining closeness. Closeness doesn't happen by itself. In its absence, people drift apart and are susceptible to affairs. A good relationship isn't an end goal; it's a lifelong process maintained through regular attention.

Take a long-range view. A marriage is an agreement to spend a future together. Check out your dreams with each other regularly to make sure you're both on the same path. Update your dreams regularly.

Never underestimate the power of good grooming.

S** is good. Pillow talk is better. S** is easy, intimacy is difficult. It requires honesty, openness, self-disclosure, confiding concerns, fears, sadnesses as well as hopes and dreams.

Never go to sleep angry. Try a little tenderness.

Apologize, apologize, apologize. Anyone can make a mistake. Repair attempts are crucial-highly predictive of marital happiness. They can be clumsy or funny, even sarcastic-but willingness to make up after an argument is central to every happy marriage.

Some dependency is good, but complete dependency on a partner for all one's needs is an invitation to unhappiness for both partners. We're all dependent to a degree-on friends, mentors, spouses-and men have just as many dependency needs as women.

Maintain self-respect and self-esteem. It's easier for someone to like you and to be around you when you like yourself. Research has shown that the more roles people fill, the more sources of self-esteem they have. Meaningful work-paid or volunteer-has long been one of the most important ways to exercise and fortify a sense of self.

Enrich your relationship by bringing into it new interests from outside the relationship. The more passions in life that you have and share, the richer your relationship will be. It is unrealistic to expect one person to meet all of your needs in life.

Cooperate, cooperate, cooperate. Share responsibilities. Relationships work ONLY when they are two-way streets, with much give and take.

Stay open to spontaneity.

Maintain your energy. Stay healthy.

Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs and do not ride at a continuous high all the time. No relationship is perfect all the time. Working together through the hard times will make the relationship stronger.

Make good sense of a bad relationship by examining it as a reflection of your beliefs about yourself. Don't just run away from a bad relationship; you'll only repeat it with the next partner. Use it as a mirror to look at yourself, to understand what part of you is creating this relationship. Change yourself before you change your relationship.

Understand that love is not an absolute, not a limited commodity that you're in of or out of. Says Sollee: It's a feeling that ebbs and flows depending on how you treat each other. If you learn new ways to interact, the feelings can come flowing back, often stronger than before.

By: Hara Marano

50 most romantic things to do w/ ur bf or gf

1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and
wear it every time you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at
midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and
make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry
etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever
want. Don't lie!
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Look into each other's eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her
eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt with each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they
aren't looking.
20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for
twodeal.
24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the
Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss
her hand and then put it over your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's
fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a
note so that they have to look in a mirror to
read it.
29. Make excuses to call them every 5
minutes
30. Even if you are really busy doing
something,
go out of your way to call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them
you were thinking about them.
32. Remember your dreams and tell her
about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred
secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.
38. Go to church/pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and
remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the
same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with
him/her.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay
together.
44. Let there never be a second during any
givenday that you aren't thinking about them,
and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone
else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign
languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks
trash.
50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and
alwaysremember to say, "Sweet dreams."

I regret that i nv done any of those thing to her... =(

Lesson Guy Needs To Know

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Never lose your cool to a girl, it has never helped anyting. When u
discover or hear or see something you dont like, take a step back, even in
times when anger prevents logical thinking, remind yourself, not to express
your anger. Girls never like to see an angry man, esp when its about her.

2. When u see / hear / know something you dont like, dont confront her,
confronting her about something which she didnt want to tell you, or
something which she does which you dont agree about, brings absolutely no
benefit to either party. All you would have achieved is getting your point
across that u know, or what you think is right, but it will not change how
she thinks, it will not make her think any better of you.

This is most difficult to do. However take it from a beneficial perspective:
That you've learnt something new about this person, be it good or bad, and
take time to think from a strategic perspective on how you can handle/accept
these pecularities abt the person, rather than trying to change the person.

Like the saying goes- speak softly and carry a big stick. Knowing is the
greatest benefit of all, others dont need to know, that you know.

so are u a guy or a girl or homo or bi or confused?hahaha this is
quite entertaining...a read for fun meant for the open minded or bored
working executives only.Don't u guys start frying your own brain ya!!A
cheerful heart is a choice there always...HUMP day coming!!Cheers...

I think that probably every guy have more or less been through the below
experience before :

1) Meet girl.

2) Get along well with girl.

3) Feel attracted to girl and think she is attracted to you.

4) Tell girl that you like her (after lotsa alcohol sometimes).

5) Girl disappears.

6) Call girl 999 times, but still no response.

7) Finally girl turns up and says "I only like you as a friend and sorry
if I hurt you".

Ouch! I know it's painful, trust me I just been through it but you might
take comfort knowing that this has happened to me and just about every guy
I know MANY times.

Let me try to explain what's going on here, and hopefully help you guys
and the others reading this to avoid this kind of thing as much as possible
in the future. If it helps that is.

From my perspective, there are a few main issues going on here all at
once...

1) Women are complex and often illogical or rather in my own words
contradictary (so are men, but in different ways)

Women act on emotion and intuition more than men. They don't do the
"logical" thing as often as men. Women walk into Starbucks and order a "fat
free" cafe mocha, and then get WHIPPED CREAM on top. No kidding. I see it
all the time...Women will go through a full closet of clothing trying to
choose something to wear to the supermarket, then conclude that "there's
nothing to wear in here"

Again, men have their bizarre behaviors, and I'm not trying to badmouth
women... but from my experience women are usually not very LOGICAL about
things... and they're ESPECIALLY illogical when it comes to relationships.
Men are perfectly logical (Or rather too logical). They want to have sex
with everything and everyone. Women aren't. They only want to have sex with
men who DON'T want to have sex with them. My point is that you have to put
your ideas about how things "should" be OUT OF YOUR MIND. Start a new way
of thinking about things based on reality and not logic.

2) Women are attracted to men for reasons that most men either don't
know, don't understand, or won't accept.

As I like to say, "Attraction Isn't A Choice".

We don't think about who we'd like to feel attraction for, it just
happens on it's own in most cases. But the thing to remember is that
attraction has a pattern. It's like a combination lock or a puzzle. There
is a way to create it if you know the "recipe". On the other hand, if you
DON'T know the recipe, then you're not likely to figure it out by trial and
error. And the reason for this again is because IT'S NOT LOGICAL.

While men are attracted mostly to looks, women are attracted mostly to
character. In the above situation, we displayed the personality trait that
I refer to as wussy a little too early in the game. Women generally aren't
attracted to men who get too lovey-dovey and emotional too quickly. There's
not mystery or challenge when you fall in love immediately. And when you
call like 31 times a day, it only makes the problem worse. What you need to
do in these situations is to sit back more and give her some space. Give
her room to think about you and miss you. I know it works...trust me.

3) The way that women communicate isn't always as "direct and
straightforward"; as most of us guys would like.

If a woman wants to tell you that she isn't interested in you in a
romantic way, she'll often NOT tell you as her way of telling you. In other
words, she might just disappear for awhile. Or she might not return calls
quickly. Or she might talk about other guys with you...basically, again you
have to put the concept of pure, rational logic out of your mind when it
comes to the world of attraction.

Women are subtle. They read into things and try to tell you things
indirectly. Women don't generally take what you say at face value. They
want to know what everything REALLY means.

If you meet a girl, and after the first date you say "I really like you,
you're beautiful and I have feelings for you" they think you said "I'm a
Wuss because I fall in love too quickly". On the other hand, if you say
"Good night, give me a call sometime" she'll think you said "You were kind
of boring, and if you want to talk to me again you're going to have to call
me".

There is no exact thing to say, but just think like a woman before you
say it out. At least you try to get most of the grounds covered. It helps A
LOT.

4) It's difficult to un-do one of these situations once it has reached
this point.

Unfortunately, once a woman has "made up her mind" about a guy, it's
usually VERY difficult to change that mind.

If you're in a situation like this where a woman has said "I only like
you as a friend", then you're best off going out and meeting some other
women, and getting on with your life immdediately! I did. Don't wait. Get
on with it.

If you disappear from her life, then turn up a month or two later... and
you're dating a few other attractive women... she might see you in a new
light.

Jealousy is a very powerful motivator to women, and this is often what it
takes to get a woman to see you in a new light once you've let out your
wussy self too early in the game.

Don't try to un-do it. Just get on with your life and quit obsessing over
her. Even if you can help yourself, dun let her know!

Communication - A Relationship Skill

************************************************** **
Good communication is the cornerstone of happy relationships. Learn how to talk and listen successfully

We all know good communication is at the heart of every good relationship. Whether it's been a wonderful or a rotten day, whether there's been a crisis or a triumph, sharing it in words makes you and your partner feel more understood, more appreciated, more loved. The ability to communicate well is the most important relationship skill of all.

Here are five foolproof lessons to help you both talk and listen effectively and conquer bad communication habits for good.

Lesson One: listen well
Though you probably listen to your partner a lot, do you listen effectively? Half-hearted attention, with one eye on the kids or EastEnders, is often worse than not listening at all because it comes across as if you're not interested. Instead:

Set aside ten or twenty minutes with each other every day to 'update'. If you have a busy life, it can seem like time wasted, but make sure concerns are aired and you understand each other. It really can avoid problems down the line.

When you are listening, aim to make your partner the centre of attention. Turn to him, look at him, and put other thoughts aside until he's finished speaking.

Use positive body language to acknowledge what he's saying with a nod or a smile. He'll feel appreciated and therefore more likely to listen to you.

To show you've listened, repeat back what you've heard or ask a focussed question. This shows him you understand and sympathise.

Lesson Two: know how to talk
Though you may talk to your partner a lot, do you talk effectively?
Women and men's talking styles are very different. They can glaze over if we bombard them with too much talk.

Don't ramble on, giving him a sort of 'stream of consciousness' of how you think and feel. Talk in bite-sized chunks so he can take his turn and digest what you're saying.

Keep 'checking in', noticing his body language to find out whether he's still involved in what you're saying. If he seems distracted, it may be he's just confused. So make your point again a different way.

If you're talking about something emotional or intimate that might stress him, cut out distractions, such as children or the family dog. Then move in close and touch. He'll relax and be more able to interact with you.

Don't be put off if he rushes in with a solution before you're ready. Women need to talk round a problem, and explore their feelings about it. Men feel better going straight for the action. His 'fix it' comment means he wants to help, wants to sort things out so you don't feel bad any more.

Lesson Three: train him to communicate
It's not your imagination. Men do find it harder to communicate than women do. Little girls literally have more of their brain devoted to using words. Men aren't taught basic communication skills in the same way as women are. And they're more likely to feel uncomfortable with any communication that involves strong emotion.

Show him how to listen. Show him just how loved you feel when he keeps eye contact as you talk; when he responds to what you say; when he asks you questions. Tell him particularly when his good listening gets a result, when it helps you make the right decision or feel more positive about a situation.

Show him how to talk, particularly about sensitive issues. Look out for his signals of wanting to confide - a broody silence, more hugs than usual, seeming irritable. When you spot these signs, give him space to express himself and he'll slowly learn that opening up is a positive thing to do.

Lesson Four: break your bad habits.
So often, even if you know the basics, you can get into bad communication habits with your partner. Put at least one of these tips into practice every day over the next month and you'll clean up your communication by at least 500 per cent!

If you consistently talk about yourself, he will feel pushed out. Break the habit by asking more questions.

If you use closed body language, he will feel rejected. Break the habit by deliberately uncrossing your arms and legs, and smiling more.

If you keep interrupting, he will feel unheard. Break the habit by learning his signals for 'it's your turn now' - such as slowing down, looking at you, gesturing you to speak. Then only speaking when he offers those.

If you keep answering for him when he's asked a question, he will quite rightly object. Break the habit by agreeing a signal or code word that he can use to 'nudge' you if you're starting to do this.

If you carry on communicating when you are irritated, you'll end up irritating him too. Break the habit - and avoid rows - by taking at least 20 minutes apart before carrying on the conversation.

Lesson Five: finally ... get your timing right
Sometimes, communicating will actually make things worse. If there's a crisis, a rush, or you're both tired, cranky or drunk, you don't have time to talk and if you did, it would only up the ante. So do the sensible thing and wait. Agreeing that you will touch down that evening, or tomorrow is a much better deal, because then you can communicate calmly, lovingly and with all the time in the world.

by Susan Quilliam

great... i found that me and her having prob in communication... but none of that help... cos we always talk things that both of us dun wanna hear and not say thing any of us wanna hear... =,=

How To Be A Better Couple

1. Be realistic about each other.
Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials or treatments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.

2. Always talk things out.
Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner undrstands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end.

3. Do stuff together.
Make an effort to do t hings together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccor with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!!

4. Meet each other halfway.
If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy. There's gotta be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway.

5.Show ur love
Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for decoration purposes => ), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him...so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while.

6. Respect each other.
Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.

7. Bury the past.
Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don't bring up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b'cos u are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her anymore.

8. Sit on ur jealousy.
All of us go thru' spells of insecurity at the beginning of the relationship, but don't translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the relationship before finall y killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it.

9. Keep ur commitments to each other.
If ur partner is standing u up all the time and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u're in a relationship, make ur partner ur priority and don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises u can't keep. If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important enough to u, u may jus lose him/her.

10. Be honest.
Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly~! When we say "be honest", we mean expressing <>ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with? � Love is also about honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists probably isn't worth it!

die... i nv did any of those... i m really very lousy... =(

ah bored... hope u all enjoy this super super long post and advice for love that i found in webby...
I M SO SAD>>>

2008-04-10T00:17:00.003+08:00

haha... its been a long time since i blog... actually alot of things happen past 2 mth... i go learn bike, help out in a wedding, distribute flyers into the mailbox, work at cruise centre, become stage manager and also attend a sec 4 gathering... haha... all are fun... i do hav pics for the wedding and also sec 4 gathering... haiz... actually i very lazy to blog de... but got sth trigger me to do so... well... of cos... only her... MJ... aft she ask me that qn... i seriously hav no mood doing other things... well... i keep feel that the ans that i reply her is very dramatic... i dunno... when i write that msg... my mind is blank... my fingers just type the msg itself... haha... i dunno wat i m doing... ya... maybe she find me silly la... haha... ya... i m silly... for so long... i still haven really figure out the feeling i hav for her issit love anot... just that i know it really affect me alot... i dunno whether she got that feeling like me anot... maybe only me got nia... haha... i feel so stupid... i really hope i can b more clever... i really hope i can b the guy u need... i really hope i hav the chance to say things that i wanna say to u...

2008-02-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

well well well... tdy start my 1st day of playing... well.. is to go play ice skating... haha... of cos... i m scared... nv ice skate b4... only stand outside see ppl skate sial... haha... haiz... no choice... kena "force" by iz and shu fang... den i tot i wun b late there la... haha... rudy got the wrong calculation of time... so she is late n i m so gentleman that i wait for her... haha... ok... den reach there... eat lunch... den go for ice skating... i m so nervous that i feel so damn cold la... aft got the skating shoes and the 1st step onto the ice... i got scared... the feeling of it compare to rollar blading is almost similar... but then... there is no sense of sercure for me cos there is no friction to hold my weak ankle... haha... but aft that got used to it and start to skate a bit faster (still the slowest among the 4 of us)... haha... everyone fell at least once... me once... shu fang once and very badly... ruby a few times until her knees swollen... iz fall so many times that i lose count and also very wet and "badly" injured... haha... well... wat i m impress is abt shu fang braking... she turn so nicely and stop... erm... well... ruby try to do that and most of the time end wif a "bam".... haha... is hit wall... not ice... haha... hmmm... actually quite enjoyable la... but then... i still dun really like it at all... make me scare of falling into the puddle of water... x.x

Road test... Review...

2008-02-12T17:26:00.000+08:00

well... i haven really did a summary on the cars that i drive before. So i am so bored now that i do one now.

Honda Civic

This is the 1st car i really drive with an instructor beside me. Teaching what is call half clutch and how to park and so on.
Well, the car dun look bad. it look like a mature guy is going to drive it around and the engine is really nice. i cannot say it is really very powerful. but then, the feel of driving it was great. the seat is comfortable, the clutch is light, the car is really spacious. i really like to drive it again. but then, the rental is not cheap. 70buck per day for weekend.

Nissan Cabstar
Practically. This is a lorry, so dun expect much from it. No performance, no ride comfort and no safety features that can save u from accident. In the front, only 2 people can sit inside as this is the Singapore traffic rule.

But there is also advantages for driving it. There is lots of head and leg room so even tall person like me dun find it cramp inside. Next, the driver will have a bird view while he is driving and thats cool. u can see almost everything around the lorry and go as close as possible in the front as the front is flat. no thing to block the view. the mirror is wide enough to look at 2 lanes so blind spot is lessened. So practically, for people who like to drive fast, this is not the vehicle they wanna be in. and also, for those who just passed their driving licence, this is also not the vehicle they wanna drive as it will take a lot more skills to drive around corner without mounting curb.

Mitsubishi Lancer GLX
This car was a not bad car. the engine is so so. the car is spacious. the CVT gearbox is not bad making the journey smooth without much jerk. the suspension absorb the bumps well. the boot is big and the fuel consumption is not bad. However, there is one thing. The engine is noisy as compare to other car. other than that, the car is practically ok. the price for the rental is also reasonable good.

60buck per day for weekday. that is really not bad.

Nissan Latio
Latio... Not a bad car. There is lots of leg room. sitting at the back is really very comfortable. but at the front, the seats is really bad. it will give u backache after a long drive. well, for me... all i like is the headlights with look great as it is big, the speedometer and rev meter in orange like which i like it and also the circle aircon buttons and indicator. Next thing i dun like is the engine. it feel so powerless and it consume more fuel. Thats no gd. next, the wing mirror is like being pull nearer to the driver and i feel so uncomfortable to lane change. look like a bad normal car. but, it is not.

it is equipped with some new things. Maybe this is old to u but not to me. u nid not use key to start the engine. as it sense the sensor in ur pocket, it allow u to turn the knot to start the engine. next is switching it off. got one night after i park the car, i wonder y i cnt off my car. den i realise i forget to put my handbrake. den i put it on and try to turn off. but i still cnt turn it off. after a 5min search, i den realise i forget to turn my headlight off and after that i manage to off it. this is how intelligent is this car. If u forget to off or on anything that is important, it will not allow u to turn it off and the beep sound will keep remind u that the car is not completely off.
Well... this special bad car maybe smaller than the lancer. but the price is not really that cheap.
70buck per day weekday.

Haha... that my summary... haha... I just enjoy to keep driving different cars and test them out. but den, money is always the problem.

2008-02-10T12:48:00.000+08:00

Well guys... New updates on the night cycling... It will b either 23feb or 1st of march or 8th march... depend on which day most of u can make it... erm... next is... i will b considering renting a lorry or a van... which do u guys prefer?? Convertible or hard top?? haha...

2008-01-31T21:45:00.001+08:00

hey guys... i m going to organise a cycling trip... whether issit day or night, it will be the majority ppl who can make it on either of the time... and the cyclying trip will b some day during march... i m unable to get a fix date as i m not sure when my buddies and gals will b free... so if u r interested... tag in my board ba... haha...

2008-01-25T00:17:00.000+08:00

haha... yay... this hell week passed liao... next week another hell week sial... 1 presentation, 4 report to handup and 1 test... haiz... really can die de... i m really lookin forward to the holiday so that i can drive car go out and play and also stay at hm play final fantasy 9... haha... still haven complete yet... haha... great...

2008-01-20T00:58:00.000+08:00

Haiz... tonight i really going crazy again for some reason... lucky this time i control it down so that i wun disturb anyone... ya... again same problem pass through my mind and make me feel sad and lonely... idiot... ah~ just trying to make myself convince that i m too childish for another relationship and studies is the most impt thing now... but then... this idea come from the devil... no gf = no motivation to work harder
well... half true half not true la... for some reasons which i dun quite understand also... haha...

hmmm... think i hav tried to help ppl but den ignore abt my own situation... haha... so stupid... i cnt save my ownself... how come i try help others solve their prob... wat an idiot sial... now let ppl know and they will "LMAO"... yaya... i know i m a dumbass... i know i hav no gut to rej ppl when they really nid my help... i know i m too softhearted and always act like a sissy guy... i know gals will think i m their sister... ya... some guys will think that is really gd... ya... gd... but den... the only gal that i wan her attention doesn't really gimme her attention...

when she tell me she dun hate me... i really feel so relieve... but then... when she tell me to give up on her... my world has collapsed on me... i really dunno wat i should do anymore... my Mistakes have cost me alot... and this time... is too much... i got too many regrets and that mistake is one of my biggest regrets... i screwed things up myself... at the very last moment i screwed it up... i really hate myself... worse thing i done is that i try to blame it on other ppl... ya... so stupid... i myself make the mistake and i blame on other ppl...

well... i hav been also telling myself that cars, family and friends only matter to me and cars is the things i really focus alot on... but then... when this mindset loses it meaning... i really go crazy like now... and well... i really got so much thoughts in my mind and is driving me crazy... All the regrets... All the questions abt my feeling towards her...

2008-01-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

哇！！！快疯掉了啦！！！这么多assignments和projects要做。嗨。真的很想放弃。很想睡个大觉。我要驾车！！！真可惜，那辆车不是我的。嗨。每个礼拜只能驾那辆老罗里一次，真是不爽。

2008-01-04T22:12:00.000+08:00

Lets spare a moment of silence for a chinese actor who just passed away and left his mom behind.

MC King

Singapore celebrity Jimmy Nah, who is better known as MC King, has passed away suddenly. He was 40 years old. His friends told MediaCorp Radio that Jimmy had experienced breathing difficulties while at home earlier Friday. He was sent to hospital but died shortly after 1pm. It is not known if Jimmy had suffered from any health problems. But in the last entry he posted on his blog on 31 December, Jimmy had hoped for good health in the coming year.

2008-01-01T00:49:00.001+08:00

Haha... Happy New year to everyone... Another year has passed swiftly... haha... lots of things happened and i m glad they happen... make me know more about this world and people... haha...

2008~

Well... lets start with what i aim to get things done in 2008...

1. get my GPA back to 3.5 and above... this is very important... if not cannot go university liao...
2. Improve my driving skill... haha... current still a noob... so... still much to learn...
3. Hope that my heart wun stop beating... haha... must important... if i just die den i cnt accomplish anything...
Lastly!!! Must watch F1 in singapore... haha... cnt miss that one out... so have to save up $350 for it... haha...

Well... hope 2008 can be another fantastic year for me... haha... hope there will be no bloodshed...

2007-12-28T20:02:00.000+08:00

ahhh... tdy quite happy... go out wif erica, jiehua, ruby and my sis... erm... i m the only guy sial... haha... tdy go safra bowling... haha... super rusty sial... so lousy me... den enjoy alot ar... haha... hmmm... den go causeway point play abit... walk walk... eat dinner... acc ruby collect her phone... den go hm lo... haiz... quite tired now... but very happy... haha... i manage to get mj to reply me and not to ignore me... well... thx u mj... i really can be happy... and also... now... another happy thing is that i no nid to worry abt gk anymore... her mom taking action liao... so i glad that will happen... i can no nid to worry her... well well well... things are looking so much better... haha... erica and jiehua tdy look gd tgt... haha... iz and shu fang is back... and also... i got more friends... haha... wat a nice ending for de year... i love it so much... thx god... :)

DO NOT READ BELOW IF U WANNA HAVE BAD EMOTION... :)

well... as for gk... hope u will see this msg... i know u block me cos i cnt reply u through msn... just to tell u... i tell ur mom all those things cos those r de only things i know... and one serious thing... i do those things NOT to get u back... me now really hav no intention to get u back AT ALL!!! so dun get it wrong... i treat u as friend as wat i say to u last time... and i only worry for u as a friend... if any of my friends got into wrong path... i will try to help them... since u think i do that will only make it worse... den fine... i WILL NOT EVER do anything at all anymore... Seriously... u will regret wat u hav done to ur mom...

2007-12-26T19:53:00.000+08:00

For the past 2 day... i have been driving that nissan latio everywhere... haha... getting abit sick wif driving aft seeing de fuel cost increase sial... haha... not bad la... 24th.. go dinner wif classmates and got $10 swensen voucher... haha... aft that we go watch national treasure... den aft that send shu fang and her sis hm den go eat supper den bring rest hm lo... haha...

25th... go a few places and do nth much... haha... like wasting fuel like that... got me, iz, ruby and chin hiang... basically... only start to enjoy abit at nite when playing fire work that ruby bring... haha... de suay thing is that... whenever near traffic light... de light will change amber den i hav to brake hard... haha... den iz drive abit... me trust him... he driving super zai... haha... he sure can pass his tp de...

26th... go fetch chin hiang friend go sddc 2 register for btt... haha... den go old airport road eat den aft that send her to nearest mrt den return car...

thats all... basically enjoy alot sial... haha... thx everyone... :)

2007-12-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

haha... been through near death... and i finally understand how a man slowly die... how comfortable it is... anyway... sry qinling... make u scared... nv mean to do so... cos i nv see this coming... haha... now seriously... this incident trigger the bloodthristy side of me... to kill off all my enemies... i dun mind getting death sentence for it... as long as i find ppl to accompany me to die... haha... i will not b lonely like that... since i know i not gonna live for long... i make sure i make a misery out of my enemies lives... i will make sure they are in hell... fuck them... haha...

But to the bright side... i will really cherish my days more wif my family and friends... i make sure i do so... :)

2007-12-20T01:41:00.000+08:00

wosh... finally make up my mind cos i finally understand wat ruby say to me sial... hmmm... anyway... got sick wif relationship sial... no matter how hard i try not to make mistake... i still do it... and is mostly fatal... haha... seriously... love is really dangerous sial... 1 wrong step and ka boom... both party got hurt badly... haha... ok la... i now still very immature... and also... my time also dun really left much liao... so i think i dun bother to do anything le...

hmmm... i tdy go ki siao again la... nearly walk the same old path that i walk b4... if i do that again... i will nv forgive my self... no more excuse for doing that... haha...

2007-12-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

well... tdy not bad... till when we go marina square... suddenly feel sad... which i told myself not to be sad at all... but still i cnt hold back that sad expression... cos me and friends all walk past a place i really rmb clearly abt things happen there and also can imaging that happen again in front of me... den lucky they all try to make me happy... cos ruby tell them abit wat happen... seriously... i nv expect erica sms abt her things again... which make me go into more hell... i m not blaming u erica... but i really wanna thx u... after talkin to u... i feel so much better... hmmm... den go arcade play play... feel even more better... den aft that go starbuck tok tok tok until 8.30 den go eat dinner den go hm lo... haha... seriously... i try hold back my tears... even through mrt trip... when i reach de park... i broke down in tears... haha... i feel so shu fu aft doing that... haha... no one see it also... if not really very embarass... haha... finish wat i wanna say le... waiting for de photo to be send ba...

2007-12-11T02:12:00.000+08:00

for some reason... my heart got so painful that i nearly cry... i dunno wat happen to me... i think... something bad gonna happen to me soon... haha...i think... being a evil person is gd... I m really confuse wif myself... i dunno wat i wan... i dunno y i feel numb... i dunno wat is going around.... i dunno how to deal wif it... I dunno whr can i run away to... i dunno who can help me... all i know is... this 19 make me feel sad and lonely...

2007-12-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

haha... tdy damn tired lor... 1st time i study till 3.30am... ppl msn me i dun feel like reply... cos super tired... my brain not working well... scare say wrong thing... den stupid ruby say wanna slp more 5am den study... den i sian diao... go slp lo.. haha... slp liao till 7am den wake up... haha... but sian sial... tdy test quite easy sial... but thank to my careless mistake... i found that i hav lost 3 mark... haiz... but nv... at least better than i expected can liao... haha... now left friday GLM test... after that holiday lo!!! haha...

I wanna go cut hair... but my mom insist me to go wif my aunt... cos she noe a good salon... haiz... sry mei mei... cnt go to the salon u recommend for me liao... but next time u see me will b wif new hairstyle ba... hopefully not anything awful... haha...

As for jiejie... jiayou ba... hope the things that u dream to happen will happen soon... haha...

2007-12-04T08:16:00.000+08:00

alrite... another early morning i wake up check blog and found she tag me... and make even more sad is... tshe nv block me in msn... ok... now i really dunno is feel relieve or feel more sad... just confused... hmmm... nvm... this week i should not really bother by this thing... must work hard and study for the 2 coming test... NO MORE EMO KID!!! NEXT WEEK HOLIDAY AGAIN!!! MUAHAHA!!!

Jiayou ar!!! everyone... Good luck for ur CT...

2007-12-02T11:06:00.000+08:00

Welll... early morning wake up... find no one in my hse... i m alone in this big hse... den try to read some ppl blog... and found that she hav change her link... haiz... expected... i think her ans is obvious now ba... since she change her blog link... oh well... y i still feel sad and painful... i know she will do all this but i still find it really hard to accept... haiz... this is really very bad me... i dunno how my mood will be tdy... but i think is really emo... i noe she is sad and i m sad... and i also noe i nv handle this too well... and i also noe that it is so painful to be seperate just aft we hav a very happy memories... and i noe i just pick the wrong time to say those thing to her... haiz.. sad... I really wanna just reverse back in time and do everything rite again... i feel regret to say all those things... but i afraid that if i dun say those things... she might get into big trouble which i really hav this feeling... haiz... suan le... i do wat i can do le... all left is wat she wanna do to her own life...

I am really a guy who is bad in handling my own relationship... but when come to other ppl relationship... i can give them advice like i am really experienced... why is it like that... i dun like it... i wan myself to handle the relationship well so i can hav a relationship without regret doing wrong things... haiz... Anyway... i learnt my lesson... not to do lots of things... and i will not repeat those again...

Now back to single... and i feel... erm... not bad la... but thinkin of christmas and valentine day gonna celebrate alone... i feel very sad le... haiz... so jialat... i am back the guy when i m still working in NTUC... this sux...

2007-11-28T14:03:00.000+08:00

So damn tired these day... keep no enuff slp... haiz... stress also... 2 test coming next week... so bloody tired lo... hmmm... recently so many prob sial... thought only one problem is mine... haha... I finally said to her the things i always wanna say... haiz... well... the biggest prob finally surface... trust... she rather trust those stupid idiot guys than her gd friends and me... so i tell her that if she continue to believe them and continue this crap hell thing... i will just leave her... cos... i had enuff of those crap stuff... well... becos of thos things... i try to lie alot to verify if it is real... and result... haha... they come out wif stupid dumb reason... haha... sometime they make me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt... i did die before... and i noe how it is like... haha... anyway.. thx to this thing... i hab been called to church... sry... i really abit not willing to go... cos... i m lazy... and every sunday i always have to drive my parents around... paiseh Erica... i m always busy on sunday... hope that u all help me to pray for her... bless u and her... anyway... jiehua... hope she enjoy her trip and got buy things for me... muahaha... thick skin me... haha...

ok... now i think my world start to change again... things around me look so unfamiliar to me... i nv experience before... well... i m really scare abt it... hoping that i can hug someone to get those fears away from me... i m really scare... can someone just accompany me or just hug me...

2007-11-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

oh well... now i m sick... feel like dying... haha... hopefully i will get well...

2007-11-07T15:29:00.001+08:00

Tdy... life is back to normal liao... The class go dinner and enjoy and i hav to stay at sch do proposal and also go hm... cos... i really bankrupt liao... sianz... this week still have to spend $30 to go see cars at expo... haiz...

2007-11-06T23:18:00.000+08:00

Yup... Happy birthday to dear and mj... wish u 2 have a better year and also gd result... haha... Tdy celebration with dear is ok la... i cnt say is successful cos due to sth happen lar... but at least she enjoy herself... haha...

Po kai liao... buy 2 presents... haiz... next 2 week i nid to save up money... sianz...

2007-10-31T23:07:00.000+08:00

Wosh... last nite tio scold by mom cos play com until too late... haha... lucky u mj... u noe to quit when i left... if not u sure tio bomb my those ppl... haha... tdy... nth much... Just a very depress day nia... think i emo...

hmmm.. so back to my own happy thing... hmmm... for some reason... i find that gunbound is getting interesting once more... haha... and those sore loser and idiot no longer can make me angry... haha... i think i got mature thoughts liao... muahaha!!!

2007-10-28T22:56:00.000+08:00

it seem like another boring day hav pass liao... anw... happy birthday to bro isaac... haha... now is another countdown to my lonely birthday sial... i m happy i manage to survive 27 oct... but i think i lost something else... the communication with gk... well... i dunno wat i can do liao... i m not fit to travel to her place after school... too weak... and think she is very busy... cannot disturb her... haiz... sian...

tdy went to kranji reservoir there to pluck cockle.. den ltr caught until a horseshoe crab sial... it a alien... blue blood... haha...

2007-10-24T20:24:00.000+08:00

so slpy... so much project to do sia... haiz... tired... none of the lecture thing hav even go into my brain...

anyway... thx mj for acc me home... if not really very sian to go home alone... haizz

2007-10-20T03:53:00.000+08:00

sian... just got hm... haiz... told my friends abt ytd thingy... haiz... tio laugh... ya... actually... if i think back carefully... y should i react in those stupid way... and by reacting that... i have lost my battle... haiz... idiot me... think i really no face to face anyone there lo... haiz... think dun wanna meet anyone anymore... me really idiot... haiz...

2007-10-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

oh man... soon i will hav phobia getting my hope too high or plan things beforehand... i think i nv gonna plan things liao... Always disappoint me greatly... haiz... i m totally a no gd guy... i found it out tdy... only noe how to sulk and do crazy things when very sad... yup... i m just an emo idiot...

I think after tdy... i dun think i will look forward to the next mthly anniversary lo... nth special will happen anyway... Zzz...

Ah... anyway.... i enjoy the KTV sia... haha... gk is really power sia... she really gd in singing... haha... next potential singer... haha... gdgd... next time i think nid save up money to just go for her concert lo... haha... hmmm... not next time save.... now must save lo... haha...

2007-10-07T00:56:00.000+08:00

man... i m really getting crazy sia... rent car for 3 days nid $200 siao man... think i gonna reduce the munber of days to 2 day... haha... so like this lower my expenses... hehe...

2007-10-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

ya... tdy totally sux... this afternoon i tot i m going lucky... cos i got a feeling gk cnt meet me... so i stay at hm quite late... truefully... she cnt meet me... den i went out wif my friends... damn sia... play arcade... play whatever lose whatever... tdy really feel damn sad la... 2 couple and me going out... i feel so odd one out... haiz... i m such a bright light bulb... haiz... den just now feel like chatting wif her... but she nv reply my msg... haiz... den i think my msg too hostile liao.. but i just dunno how to correct this misunderstanding liao... haiz... just now read her post... she seem to be very happy wif arif... i feel my heart very painful sia... cos i nv really make her happy these days... i really start to wonder... one day she might left me for the other guy due to my insensitive... at that time... what gonna happen to me?? sometime i really feel that... i really cnt live without her... but i make a oath before that i will nv try to suicide or do anything that hurt myself for any reason... but even i live... life gonna b very dull and painful...

With such a painful ending in my mind... i m still trying to cherish the time i have left wif her... i m still trying hard to change my bad points... hoping i still make it in time... i dun wan to left any regret for this relationship... I have already too much regret liao...

Anyway.. i really got nth better to do den finding some music video...

KL Trip...

2007-09-22T01:13:00.001+08:00

This is my classmate... he is the Student Leader for my group...

When did she take this pic??? i nv notice sia...

My classmates... with a extra guy at the back...

yay man... everyone is happy after the paintball...

Man... this is the result after hit by a paintball... *ouch*

Waiting for our bags to be deliver...

A blur pic of the pic i m goin to stay for 2 nite...

This is the super "good" room that i got... i m told we are gonna have 4 ppl per room.. why now 8 ppl a room... and worse... is at the basement... i can hear ppl talking so clearly sia... and also... whenever ppl walk... dust will come down from the ceiling... i take a video of it... after that... we complain... and become 12 person a room... sian... but lucky... everyone go to other gal rm slp... me also... thx the gals that let me stay at their room for a nite... haha...

Camp fire...

Some clearer pic of the place i stay for 2 nite

we now preparing to leave this damn place... hehe...

The tall statue near batu cave...

The wall that i m gonna climb... look so rough and scary sia...

I m preparing to climb the wall... too bad... i nv make it to the top... not enuff stamina... must train more liao...

The theme part in Times Square...

the trip was fun sia... though i got some suffering from the 1st 2 day... cannot eat well... slp well... and also bath well... haiz... but overall... the trip was damn fun... play a lot of things that i nv dare to play b4... think got become a bit da dan liao... hehe... But le... i really nid to thank those class from my class... they really have been taking care of me through out the trip... thank you all...

2007-09-16T21:00:00.000+08:00

hmmm... going malaysia tml... haiz... gonna miss gk for 4 days liao... hmmm... again... we gonna miss our anniversary... haiz...

2007-09-06T01:14:00.000+08:00

sian... tdy also not great at all... me really hav no mood... well... i think i found out y i no mood liao... there is totally nth for me to look forward expect doom... ya... exam result... i really scare of it... haiz... dun think can get gd GPA this time round... i totally screwed up everythings... anyway... today i think i spent a lot of money and time on worthless thing...

2007-09-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

ytd... i was totally in mess... i totally hav no strength to use brain or even think... th afternoon part was stupid... i went out to meetgk... den wait for her for 2 hr den check my wallet... i found that i only bring $4 wif me and nv bring ATM... great to...(in jap) so stupid... den go hm take lo... after that meet her and her sis go eat dinner den movie... but my mind is totally off... i cnt think or do other things... just dunno y... i got depress something... and i dun really noe abt it... den gk parents treat me go east coast eat... den bring me hm... hmmm... everytime after having meet wif me gk... i will feel very happy when i reach hm... but this time... i dun... n i m not sure wat happen to me... i dun feel much of happiness in me... i still feel very hollow in me... it is so empty that i can hear my echo... haiz... wat has really actually happen??? where is my mood??? haiz... still trying to find it back... Who can help me??? I think this time... only god or "brothers" can help me liao... cos they r the one who live in this world for so long... haha...

DEn today... my mom bring my dad go out eat gd thing as to celebrate his bday tml... haha... haiz... den me have to stay at hm for the whole day play games... cos... no lorry... haiz... sian... worst thing is that... my mood hav not recover... i still dun hav mood to play games or do anythings... i think i m turning to zombie sooner or later... great to(jap)...

2007-08-31T21:55:00.000+08:00

haiz... no mood sia... but only anger... now i really feel like killing ppl to vent them up... damn sia... got scolded for wanting to meet my friends tonite... totally sux sia... haiz... den well... gk sms reply make it worse... and i really throw my temper on her... haiz... really sry sia... nv really mean to do that... well... i now wanna call her... but i think she in the middle of conversation...

2007-08-30T12:35:00.000+08:00

well... last nite i really nv slp well... keep dream of the tombstone... haiz... anyway reason is that i worry abt gk safety... damn la... y wan let ppl worry for u... haiz... anyway... me also got a gd chance to chat wif her mom... her mom really damn worry abt her... haiz... hmmm... well... from her mom... i noe that she is really rebelling hard against her parents... me not surprise abt that... at that age... i also rebel alot and even make my mom cry alot sia... now i think everything is over le ba... haha... now think back of it... i feel that i m quite useless sia... ya... useless in the sense that i cannot really help to guide her to the right path and she might take the path i used to take and the history might repeat again in front of my eyes once more... haiz... damn... i dun wish her take the suffering that i take and add on to her currently suffering (which is her weak body). i dun think she can really take those blows... but till now... i still angry with her abt sth she told me... she say she dun care abt her ownself... she told me she dun guarantee that she would not hurt herself... and thats the words i really hate de most... ur parents take so much of effort to bring u up until so big and spend so much money to get ur health back... and now u tell me u r not gonna care abt urself... damn u... if u think like this... u only gonna make ur parents effort go into vain and also... taking their care and love for nothing but like rubbish and throw them away into drain... and also... i think u hav really forget abt my feeling... ya... i am a heartless guy... when u got hurt... i wun be sad... i think thats wat u think... anyway... i think i dun hav de right to say that to her... that y i hold back that night... i myself also think like this... dun care abt my own body and think that like this will punish my parents when i die... but thinking of it... i feel is damn stupid... to live my life to the fullest is the only way i can repay my family for bringing me up... and also... if i suffer... i m the only one gonna suffer for the rest of my life... not my parents... haha... make sense ritE?? haha... terrible sia... i think.... if pessimistic... i dun think i really can be her bf anymore... so useless... unable to put that smile back onto ur face... but to b optimistic... i think i can barely last to b her bf... haha... my performance is getting from bad to worse... disappointing u more and more... haha... i m just a crappy guy... :(

REally dun have the mood to do anything anymore... I m really sad and angry... wanting to support her but unable to do anything... i think... i m the worst guy she have ever met... hmmm... life is indeed weird sia... make a weird guy keep meeting weird gals... haha... i think this guy will only have 5 chances of having relationship with weird gals ba... and i have used up... haha... sian...

2007-08-28T21:07:00.000+08:00

haiz... sian... ytd at least i enjoy myself... damn... tdy is like hell... mom dun allow me go out of the hse for rest of my holiday... damn... i think... is time for me to rebel this liao... this is too much... 19 year old liao... i m still alrite that u control my timing of coming back hm... but even go out u also wan control... i am gonna rebel... i dun care even u say i cnt go out... i will go out without u knowing and reject all ur call even u call me when i m outside... damn my mom...

2007-08-19T18:40:00.000+08:00

Tdy is actually a meaningful day sia... haha... but i dun think so anymore... cos i dun think she would think that much abt it liao... so i write it all in blog... today is our 7th month anniversary... and surprisingly... tdy also chinese luner 7/7... which is niu lang and zhi nu meeting day... the only day they would meet each other... haha... but sadly... it dun happen to me... and at first... i do feel that it really matter... but after much of thinking... i dun think so anymore... cos... tdy is just like any other sunday when i m single... haha... so lonely... cannot help it... she cnt skip her service for a day... so i have to understand it... haiz...

2007-08-19T00:41:00.000+08:00

woo... damn busy sia... haha... friday exam really make me freak out... nv tot teacher is so heartless... set the paper so difficult... sian... den aft that... only can stay at hm... haiz... feel like going out wif those oneshift members... go geylang eat dou hua... haha... haiz... have to wait until next time... haiz... sian... tdy tot got study grp... in the end cancel... haiz... make me miss out a chance to meet gk... haiz... sian... damn it la... driving also very jia lat... so suay... when my lorry pass the last arrow at low speed den the green arrow blink... damn sia... make me so nervous... sian...

anyway... i think my cham spell start to wear out lo... haha... ppl start to hate me... haiz... think i gonna be back loner again... will i be lonely again, gk?

2007-08-05T00:39:00.000+08:00

Oh well... tdy bbq was quite nice... thought a little bored... haha... lucky got xinyan fetch me there... or else i wun go for the bbq... so wulu... haha... coming back is so damn fun sia... practically i noe toa payoh even well now... haha... now a bit piss off wif my grandma for not letting me drive out to bring my uncle home... haiz...

Well... basically... in my last post i say not to sms gek ling liao... but i just cannot keep myself for not doing it... i really miss her alot... damn it... i dun really wan admit it... but i m really missing her... haiz... now i really hope that i can b a heartless freak... like this i wun love anyone or ever feel lonely... i also admit that i also feel like killing myself... but i feel is stupid to waste my life like this... haiz... What should i do??? I try to msg u whenever i m free but u just keep tell me u are busy... issit all my timing is wrong?? or r u thinking that i m no longer impt to u??? just tell me... haiz... sian... i noe u will nv ans me cos u r nv free... haha... i m just a sucker, dumbass and also a brainless faithful guy... I make sure i not going to fall in love wif another gal anymore until i m mature enough... even i fall in love... i wun think of having relationship anymore... is painful enough... I really had enough... and i really make this relationship my last 1 till i m really mature enough... I will still try my best to cherish u... but i really dunno how to... leave u alone for the time being or to keep pester u by sms... I really have no idea... u nv tell me anything or wat... u keep me in the dark.... and i also feel that i m always the last person to noe anything that happen u... ya... i dun like the feeling... making me feeling that i m just a extra person that is useful to u when u feel lonely and throw me away when u r busy...

Presentation day...

2007-08-02T08:01:00.000+08:00

man... sian... today presentation liao... haiz... my group still struggle to finish the project... damn it la... keep got feeling that we still miss out something but dunno wat it is... haiz... hopefully the presentation go well... Anyway... today still got OPC quiz... haiz... my worst module... hope i can get at least 80 for the mcq... i dun wanna see 60 again le... see liao i really scare sia... haiz... terrible...

Lastly... haiz... i suddenly feel that i m all alone again... yup... ALONE... haiz... dunno sia... just feel that recently something is miss out... but i dunno... who care... as long as i m still breathing can liao... haha... haiz... missing her so much and yet cannot contact her... everytime i contact her, she say she busy... haiz... so i decide not to contact her until she contact me 1st... when she contact me is when she is really free liao... so i dun disturb her by any form of contact with her liao... haha... dunno whether is a gd choice anot... aiya... i think i feel myself very extra whenever she say she is busy den cannot chat with me... haha... ya... indeed... i m really extra... just a burden for her nia... haha... now no more burden for her le... me decide not to disturb her life anymore...

Finally back to reality

2007-07-25T22:18:00.000+08:00

Woo... Long time no update my blog lo... haha... it is as cold as ever... no one tag on my tagboard recently... even my gf too... wa... i think i m being left alone by them again... haha... nvm... get used to it liao... well... today went into my gf friendster... lol... i finally discover something... she is single... oh great... haha... nvm... that one i understand... haha... anyway... i also realise something... not only she is invisible in my msn... she is also invisible in my memory... well.. i really dunno what happen to my memory now... getting more absent minded than usual... Like what kanga say.. STM... haha... nvm... all now i can remember her as a girl who i sms every thing i wake up... haha... other than that is all blurry... haha... too bad... all i can rmb is her sound and how she feel like... is like a gal without face in my memory talking to me... i think i never see her for a long time liao... haha... nvm... as long as i remember her name can liao... haha... in the past even i forget her, i can still sense her... haha... now... no longer at all... thing change alot sia... her personality change and her presense that i feel has change also... just like she is another person liao... maybe i think too much... nvm... i m trying to get something to make my insecure feeling away... haha... well... honestly... i think she dun like me anymore... well... if that is the fact... den i have to better accept it by hard way... but i still trust her... relationship without trust is totally a waste... well... i dun really know how relationship gonna last with very little communication... haiz... terrible... all i can do is to put my faith in it and do my best... keep sms her even i really have nth to talk to her... :)

Well... today... haiz... early morning go ICA building... den there say they r close and will reopen on friday... damn it la... me reach there already put $1 coupon den tell me u r close... stupid... den go to my favorite market eat my favorite porridge, fried bee hoon and also Chee chiong fan... haha... den aft that drive to ah ma hse buy chicken rice go home it... haha... den... today practical test is terrible... i do the 10mark qn wrong totally... ARRR!!!! Damn me sia... dun even trust my own feeling... haiz... feeling told me use linear programming... but i doubt it and use some wulu module... haiz... wasted... den reach hm kena scold for not slping and use com until 3am... damn it lo... me got things to do lo... haiz... totally sux sia... anyway... tdy stil nid thx kanga to acc me at nite... haha... thx u xiao evil... haha...

2007-07-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

So sian... haha... really kena addicted to initial D ver. 4 lo... haha... keep wanna playing... haha.. no money lo... sry to those guys in my class... i cnt go support u all... haha... anyway.. i will post some pic of this machine...

2007-07-05T20:29:00.000+08:00

haha... some stupid video i found sia... haha... just bored... no mood do anything... so anyhow surf... haha... enjoy this... :)

haha... this is a ending song sia... i found it interesting... haha... hmmm... though there is no sub... but i will write it below... haha... Anyway... i really dunno the title of this song sia... haha...

I can;t piece things together.
with this eyes of black and white.
i tried my best.
There is nothing i can do for u.
The way i used to be...
Something touched my heart...
something make me feel contented...
Did i understand that myself?
Please dun go anywhere.
Please dun go anywhere. (eng)
I never meant to hurt you.
I was running from emotions I wasn;t ready for.
But what am i supposed to do next time,
If i dun have you to depend on?
Please dun go anymore.
Please dun go anymore. (eng)

Oh well... Not a bad day...

2007-07-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

Man... early morning wake up go sch and found out that lesson is cancel AGAIN!!! that stupid teacher AGAIN nv notice us abt lesson being cancel and make the whole class to reach there and found out that leson is cancelled... damn him lo... waste my time.. haiz... den ltr go library watch anime and chat wif friends lo... den go eat den go class for 2 hr den finish sch... haha... aft that go out wif MJ to bookcourt read comic... haha... really long time nv go there read comic lo... feel so relex... haha... den aft that acc her go eat dinner... lucky she forget that i still owe her a meal... haha... or else just now i will b cleaning the table for them.. haha... not enough money... :P haha... but den... i also msg GL abt the tickets thingy again... her msg seem to be cold... and i noe y... but nv... try to heat it up again... Den aft that go bro hse help him wif his IMGT... he tml got retest... haha... den try talk to GL on msn... her reply seem to be better... but still frozen cold... haiz... got flu liao... den aft that go hm put laptop den go dn return cd den chat wif my bro and da sao as they eat dinner lo... haha... now gonna slp lo... haha...

Oh man... Bad days coming... I m doom...

2007-07-03T21:00:00.000+08:00

There go me again... screwing up everything around me again... esp my relationship.. is already so weak from the last blow that i created myself... now again... i did it again... i doubt she gonna forgive me even she might say so... i dunno... i m trying to reflect on this problem... y m i like this in the 1st place... normal me will not end up like this... all i noe is that i let my emotion take over me... wat emotion...? hmmm... sad, angry and also stupid thing... jealousy... yup... y jealous?? i dunno... maybe because of erica?? maybe... cos she is always with erica and only sms me a little sia... welll... that might be the reason that trigger my jealousy... angry... hmmm... well... maybe the way how she reply my message lo... is telling me that "ur business is none of my business... i m busy with other friends... dun bother me..." haha... maybe i think too must... haha.. but i m certain that ever since the last meeting... her feeling that gove me change... is telling me "dun be so close with me... i m no longer that kind and caring GL anymore.. get lost..." haha... dunno... hmmm... as for sad... hmmm... that will be my result... i didn't get satisfied result... and i m really stress about it... esp alot of projects are coming in and i hav no idea how to do at all... hmmm... Really stress... Well... now i really feel guilty about the thing i said to her... I blame these downfall to god... haiz... and esp when she is christian... god... i m sorry to blame u... i think all i have to blame these on my fate and also myself... i m totally a complete useless guy when i m starting to have my bad days... i start to make wrong decision and take wrong action to make problem worse... and i got a friend who is very gd at telling people fortune... she told me that... i might lose this relationship... even i manage to save it... things will not be like it used to be... there will be scars on it... and well... i noe that also... hmmm... but no matter wat... rather than thinking on breaking up... i m trying my super best to think of solution to save this relationship from my mess... even it cost my studies... i really hav to save it... if not... i will never solve this prob and same thing will happen to the next relationship... i must stop it... well... recently... itry say some cold joke, which she used to laugh at it, to her... she dun feel funny at all liao and still scold me... and she been cold to be totally... and i dunno how will i able to make her smile again... haiz... i think i should borrow a guitar den go to her block and sing song... haiz... no choice... must do it le... whne to do? i dunno... try get a free day.. :)

Hmmm... Bored...

2007-07-02T18:14:00.000+08:00

I m just copying ppl style sia... haha... really bored.. T.T
Well... Really sry gk... nv mean to disappoint u because of my rebel for doing things that u wan me to do and i do it opposite... well... i dun feel gd at all too now... Feeling very guilty... well.. this song i delicate to her as my sincere way to apologise for what i have done... I am really sorry... U might think that i am not sincere at all... but i really say it from my bottom of my heart... i m sorry... if u still think like this is still not enough... just tell me the thing u wan me to do... i will do my best to do it, even it cost my life...

And also... this is for the stupid butterkanga who always like to scold me "shyt u"... haha... :P I think u also JJ fans rite?? Same as gk ba... haha... i think... hope this time i remember correctly ba... haha... gd luck for ur next relationship also ba... hope u find another guy who can b like me tahan u for 2 mth... and not the stupid guy that totally cannot understand the world u are in... haha... :P

Hmmm... recall of the past...

2007-06-28T19:17:00.000+08:00

Yay!! Lucky min jia curse never work... haha... at least i pass that stupid OPC... haha... but a bit sad la... only 53... haiz... gonna work harder for that lo... haha... well... ytd just sian... gek ling never reply my msg... so i though she is busy den go talk with min jia... haha... well... as usual and the same thing we do... Suan each other... haha... feel really happy to do that... haha... remind me when we are still together... haha... Suan each other just for fun and also is the only form of communication for us... haha... well... i think thats what make it so fun to be together... haha... anyway... hmmm... that is the past... haha... and now... both of us still haven change much... haha... still as free and lazy as usual... haha... den... tdy in class... hmmm... the gals keep make fun of me... haiz... make me really cannot finish my lunch... haiz... haha... nvm.. as long as have fun can liao... haha... well... gonna be busy with projects... haha... well.. that is gd... at least that will stop me keep thinking bad things and stupid problem that might not even occur... haha... well... past memorise are sweet... haha... and currently life is happy... haha... future life is full of mystery... awesome... :)

YAY!!!

2007-06-26T20:51:00.000+08:00

Yahoo... I did some improvement to this blog sia... at least it look much better now... haha... thought there is some problem in applying a new skin on it... haha... yay man... me now feel refresh after the talk with two of my classmates... haha... feel that talk to two mature girls make me understand more of girls thinking rather than talking to some inmature guys and girls who only know to call me out eat supper, go drink and flame gek ling... those idiot even force me go church with them... haha... nvm... they are just a bunch of idiot that make so much colour in my life too... haha... without them, i will still be the nerdy guy who only know how sad is this world sia... haha... hmmm... Dunno why... dun feel sad about missing gek ling le... things all look well for me liao... haha... and now i feel that my comic and anime freak guy is coming back man... hehe... and that time... i think i will care about things around me so much again... haha... and my life will back to those imagination world where it make me happy more than sad... hehe... but... the current me dun feel like giving up of risking everything to try out some dangerous stuffs... hehe... yup... no risk no fun... life is like this... always stay in the comfort zone only make me feel bored... hehe... being a guy who do things without thinking of consequences is fun... haha... without this kind of thinking i think i have miss out a lot of things in my life... haha... hmmm... anyway... now really nothing much to risk la... haha... only left with speeding with car... haha... might not get a chance on it sia... haha... nvm... now see how liao... hmmm... hehe... now most importantly is not to go arcade for some time liao... nid a lot of money to buy those comic that i left out sia... haha... very long time never like this liao... last time everytime go tuition will sure buy at least 2 comics. if dun have any comic i left out, i will buy new series and try read it... hehe... Life is back to those imaginary life lo... :)

2007-06-24T21:57:00.000+08:00

haha.. Me is just sian and lonely... haha... well... thanks those gals who have accompany me for the whole holiday... I really thanks them... well... esp a gal... she always pull me go swimming with her... haha... really thanks her and also sorry about my reply... anyway... tomorrow is my damn school opening... haiz... projects are coming in man... this is really stress... The worst thing is the words i learnt in the church service... "U and her r too immature for relationship now. thats why you are easily depress by small matter in it. this is why i dun really encorage teens hav relationship. even though both of u are really trully in love, whos money r u spending? since u have the time to have relationship, y dun u take those time to make ur studies better or do more vol work to help those people who really need your help." actually... is true... and i already know it and forget about it... Y these words remind me again when the relationship is getting worse... haiz... i really dunno... haiz... i now really feel that things really looking bad... and i really feel like giving up and run away... haiz... but i nid to face it... i m too old to run away from problems liao... haiz... how can i get those words out of my minds... feel so suck about it... totally ruin all those feelings... now i think i gonna breakdown...