Love Is Dangerous

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N Tuesday, 3 July 2007 / 9:00 pm

There go me again... screwing up everything around me again... esp my relationship.. is already so weak from the last blow that i created myself... now again... i did it again... i doubt she gonna forgive me even she might say so... i dunno... i m trying to reflect on this problem... y m i like this in the 1st place... normal me will not end up like this... all i noe is that i let my emotion take over me... wat emotion...? hmmm... sad, angry and also stupid thing... jealousy... yup... y jealous?? i dunno... maybe because of erica?? maybe... cos she is always with erica and only sms me a little sia... welll... that might be the reason that trigger my jealousy... angry... hmmm... well... maybe the way how she reply my message lo... is telling me that "ur business is none of my business... i m busy with other friends... dun bother me..." haha... maybe i think too must... haha.. but i m certain that ever since the last meeting... her feeling that gove me change... is telling me "dun be so close with me... i m no longer that kind and caring GL anymore.. get lost..." haha... dunno... hmmm... as for sad... hmmm... that will be my result... i didn't get satisfied result... and i m really stress about it... esp alot of projects are coming in and i hav no idea how to do at all... hmmm... Really stress... Well... now i really feel guilty about the thing i said to her... I blame these downfall to god... haiz... and esp when she is christian... god... i m sorry to blame u... i think all i have to blame these on my fate and also myself... i m totally a complete useless guy when i m starting to have my bad days... i start to make wrong decision and take wrong action to make problem worse... and i got a friend who is very gd at telling people fortune... she told me that... i might lose this relationship... even i manage to save it... things will not be like it used to be... there will be scars on it... and well... i noe that also... hmmm... but no matter wat... rather than thinking on breaking up... i m trying my super best to think of solution to save this relationship from my mess... even it cost my studies... i really hav to save it... if not... i will never solve this prob and same thing will happen to the next relationship... i must stop it... well... recently... itry say some cold joke, which she used to laugh at it, to her... she dun feel funny at all liao and still scold me... and she been cold to be totally... and i dunno how will i able to make her smile again... haiz... i think i should borrow a guitar den go to her block and sing song... haiz... no choice... must do it le... whne to do? i dunno... try get a free day.. :)

; So Emo